Also whoever made these should probably be my therapist from now on??
Last update on my betta. Altier died before i even went to sleep last night. He passed some where between 12 and 1 am. My wife checked on him before she came to bed and let me know he was gone. I’ll be burying him tonight with my other fish Clotho.
Altier’s first salt bath. He was in for maybe 5 min because i panicked when he started floating weird. He’s now in a makeshift hospital tank in one of those ‘betta carrier’ things (I got it second hand to grow aquatic plants in but i guess he needed it more rn.)
He’s resting on a fake plant close to the surface, breathing hard.
I’m so scared. I feel like I’m just sitting here watching him die. I want him to be okay…my chest hurts so much.
This is the fish you guys. The fish that got me into the hobby. The fish that showed me how to care about aquatic animals. He was the gateway to a special interest and lots of little swimming friends. I’ve barely had him 7 ish months. How can he be dying already.
I thought he’d live forever but this is a big slap in the face with reality.
I honestly don’t think he’s going to make it through the night.
Update on Altier if any one but me actually cares.
He’s pineconing, acting lethargic and has been sitting in weird positions (ie just sitting by the heater, resting with his head on the ground and his body almost straight up, swimming straight down into the gravel, resting on my fingers when i tried to corner him to see what else I could see), he’s pale, and much more green then his usual iridescent red/blue. He’s def bloated… all this over the past 24 hrs.
I tested the water and my alkalinity was a bit high, my water is always hard because i live in Utah and my nitrites were up. I did a water change and treated for nitrites/ammonia/alkalinity. I’m suddenly terrified for him. Idk what to do. He means way too much to me for him to die already, I feel like I’ve had him forever but it’s still not long enough.
My heart is in my throat, I dont want to lose him yet…
I feel like I’m dying. I love him so much. I can’t lose him yet. I just cant. But i don’t know what else to do. What if i come home from work tomorrow and he’s gone? I don’t know what to do. I’m just lost and scared for my sweet fish son…
Allistics will never understand what it’s like to be autistic. They’ll never understand what it’s like to have a disability that affects literally everything you do, and the way you think about everything. They’ll never understand that each autistic person is completely different from the next and no one of us are the same. They’ll never understand what it’s like to not be able to stand certain feelings and textures, and what it’s like to be forced to touch them. They’ll never understand what it’s like to be the awkward kid, or the weird kid just because of your disability and how you function. They’ll never understand what it’s like to have an item beloved to you confiscated because it’s too “distracting.” They’ll never understand what it’s like to have to do little things to cope, like alienating yourself completely or stimming. They’ll never understand the fact that stimming is healthy for us and keeps us from being stressed. They’ll never understand how loud certain noises are to us and how awful it is to have to listen to them. They’ll never understand how stressful it is to not be able to come up with words or descriptions sometimes, especially in an important moment. Allistics will never understand how awful it is for people to say we weren’t listening when we were and their voice went through one ear and out the other, or just the simple fact that it’s hard to process what they’re saying. They’ll never understand how bothersome it is to randomly seemingly have our brain just partially shut down, and be flowing with creativity just after. They’ll never understand how truly mentally painful it is for us to just be bored. Allistics will never understand how important to us our arrangements and plans are. They’ll never understand why it’s such a big deal when schedules change, and quite frankly, neither do I. They’ll never understand the pain of not truly knowing who they are at least twice as long as them. They’ll never understand how important our needs are and why. They’ll never understand the difference between a special interest vs. an obsession or addiction and how important our special interests are. They’ll never understand that we aren’t “special,” we’re just different, and that we aren’t a burden. They’ll never understand our autism isn’t a tragedy, and it’s just how we live. We’re no inspiration simply for living, we’re inspiring because we have to deal with all the judgment and all the perpetuated stigma that goes on. But most of all, allistics will never understand how important the correct representation of us is, and how important it is for people to inform themselves of our disability.
Fellow autistics, feel free to add more.
“Allistics will never understand what it’s like to be autistic. They’ll never understand what it’s like to have a disability that affects literally everything you do, and the way you think about everything.
They’ll never understand that each autistic person is completely different from the next and no one of us are the same. They’ll never understand what it’s like to not be able to stand certain feelings and textures, and what it’s like to be forced to touch them.
They’ll never understand what it’s like to be the awkward kid, or the weird kid just because of your disability and how you function.
They’ll never understand what it’s like to have an item beloved to you confiscated because it’s too “distracting.” They’ll never understand what it’s like to have to do little things to cope, like alienating yourself completely or stimming.
They’ll never understand the fact that stimming is healthy for us and keeps us from being stressed. They’ll never understand how loud certain noises are to us and how awful it is to have to listen to them.
They’ll never understand how stressful it is to not be able to come up with words or descriptions sometimes, especially in an important moment. Allistics will never understand how awful it is for people to say we weren’t listening when we were and their voice went through one ear and out the other, or just the simple fact that it’s hard to process what they’re saying.
They’ll never understand how bothersome it is to randomly seemingly have our brain just partially shut down, and be flowing with creativity just after. They’ll never understand how truly mentally painful it is for us to just be bored.
Allistics will never understand how important to us our arrangements and plans are. They’ll never understand why it’s such a big deal when schedules change, and quite frankly, neither do I. They’ll never understand the pain of not truly knowing who they are at least twice as long as them.
They’ll never understand how important our needs are and why. They’ll never understand the difference between a special interest vs. an obsession or addiction and how important our special interests are. They’ll never understand that we aren’t “special,” we’re just different, and that we aren’t a burden.
They’ll never understand our autism isn’t a tragedy, and it’s just how we live. We’re no inspiration simply for living, we’re inspiring because we have to deal with all the judgment and all the perpetuated stigma that goes on.
But most of all, allistics will never understand how important the correct representation of us is, and how important it is for people to inform themselves of our disability.