traumagenicangel:

just some abused kid things

– never being able to relax when adults are around even when you know they mean well

– “why are you giving me things what do you want from me”

– or “i cant take things because this will be used against me later”

– being jealous of other people because their parents are better than yours

– feeling guilty for being jealous

– an endless cycle of “fuck them!” “but it was my fault so im gonna be angry at myself” “im gonna direct that anger outwards” “fuck them!” “but-”

– people telling you to ‘get over it’

– “boys will be boys” apparently applying to older men as well

– no-one believing you when you tell them whats going on

– are my mental illnesses caused by the abuse or was the abuse caused by my mental illnesses

– flinching whenever anyone moves their hands too fast

– anxiety for no reason

This hits home a little too hard for me to handle rn…