Sigh… suddenly feeling a little down. Remembering what I did… 

Me and my girlfriend were gonna go to this Christmas party for our Japanese club. And I’d been thinking about proposing to her for ages. She’d just turned 18 and I’d been 18 for 2-3 months. We’d never fought. Never had a bad day. And I loved her beyond reason. So I went to Walmart and bought a pretty but simple diamondy ring, One that I knew she would wear. It was maybe 10 bucks. Sad yeah, but all I could really afford. So we’re at the party and I asked her to stand up, but she wouldn’t so I knelt down next to her and proposed, even borrowed the ring box my dad had used to propose to my mom. I meant it with all my heart. I wanted to marry this girl. Spend the rest of my life with her. She blushed a bunch and was super embarrassed but put on the ring and gave me a kiss on the cheek and our evening went on as if it never happened. But I knew. I knew she’d meant “Yes. One day.” And my heart was full and I’d never been so happy in my life. I thought everything would be perfect, because she was perfect. 

I guess that was just my own ignorance. 

We broke up bloodily not even a month later… and my heart breaks when I remember. I really would have spent the rest of my life with that girl. But I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. 

I’ve moved on so to speak, but it still aches to know I’d found someone i wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and then we couldn’t. And won’t.